I've Got High Hopes

It's coming, the excitement is building, my palms are sticky, my heart is racing, and...no new e-mails. Why haven't I been placed yet? Kepner Middle School please call me back! Being a volunteer with Smart Girls has really got my energy level up and I haven't even started yet! But my enthusiasm has gotten me thinking about my expectations for this experience and thought they are high I'm also scared.

The social arena has changed so much in the five years I've been out of high school, I could only imagine what it's like for these girls now! I do realize I cannot relive my past years through these girls, that's not fair to them, and it's unhealthy for me, but I know I can regain my faith in adolescent girls that they can learn from their mistakes and grow because of them. This is what I want to do, these are the types of teens I want to work with, I am expecting to not only teach the girls I mentor, but I want them to teach me. I am hoping to become a kid again and learn along with the girls. Even though I am a 23 year-old woman I still have a lot to learn about bullying, sexting, sexual harassment, how to make good friends, and how, as a woman, to not let the messages the media spits out to get to me. Smart Girls teach confidence, bravery, and universal kindness. Universal values that we all could stand a few more lessons on.

I'm also scared. Anxious mostly, but scared none-the-less. I have over 10 years invested in working with kids ranging in ages from two months to 16, but no matter how much experience one may have - you're never fully ready for what's to come. I have worked with teens from disorganized families, I have mentored a 12 year-old pregnant girl, I have helped repair friendships, mend broken hearts, and minimize egos - so why am I still so anxious? Just like teens I am afraid they wont like me. Knowing from experience, it's difficult to connect with teens on a personal, intimate level if they don't like you. Sometimes I'm a little bit of a "mama bear", but I hope they look at that as me caring about them and not me trying to be their mother. Will they like my tattoos? Will the respect me? Will they trust me? Will they be honest with me in group? The anxiety from these questions is overwhelming, but the best way to answer them is to go and experience it.

Though I am anxious, scared, and worried I am still very excited to be a part of this experience. I've got high hopes, high wishes, and a lot of prayers.